I’d start by asking: Who is the grades-changing God?
Thank you. The grades-changing God is, literally, a God that changes your grades. Shikena. He changes it from bad to good, never the other way around, God forbid! From an F to an A, an E to a C. He goes behind your back and outsmarts the system. He rectifies your mistakes.
And why does he do this?
Technically and according to several prophets and pastors whom I believe, failure is not the portion of a child of God. How can you claim belief in God and still fail your exams?
So, where can he be found?
Well, mostly in rundown, incompetent, dysfunctional universities and polytechnics. Colleges of education too.
I’m in such a school and I’ve never met him. How come? How do I meet him?
Well, you don’t literally meet him. Just keep on trusting and believing and praying and one day, he will come through for you.
Yes na. What are you saying? One of my friends, Ngozi, she went to the exam hall and her head was blank. She didn’t know a single answer and she cried to God. Like, she told God, “you know I serve and worship you, don’t allow me be put shame.” God answered. A handwriting appeared on the wall and God wrote out all the answers. That’s how she passed o.
Well, technically, that’s exam malpractice but let’s leave it for now. We are not talking about malpractice; we are talking about changing grades.
Okay. Okay. I got carried away. One of my other friends, Preye, she went to check her result. She had two F’s. She cried to God for mercy that night. She prayed and fasted. After three days, she went to check again. The F’s had turned to A’s.
Yes, I’m telling you. One boy, Tunde, on the day of the exam, he was very, very sick. He didn’t write anything but he got an A. God did it for him.
Just like that?
It is called “unmerited favour”. Some people even see exam questions in their dreams. It is one of the benefits of being a child of God. What is attainable for you will exclude other people. You are no longer of this world; you are seated at the right hand of Jehovah. You serve God and he serves you back.
Hmmm. I don’t want to dispute these happenings – that’s not my concern – but it has never happened to me. My grades have never changed.
Sister, there is a level of grace that you haven’t tapped into it.
I’m pained. Maybe because I haven’t, yunno, “benefitted” and maybe because it is just not right – assuming it is true. If you don’t write well, you should not pass. It is, um, yunno, basic stuff.
Mercy, my sister, Mercy. Don’t you know that song? “Mercy said no…. I’m not gonna let you go…” Do you know the song?
Good. Try to sing it every morning. Back to the matter. God specializes in restoration, in reversing the irreversible, in making foolish the wisdom of men. People have HIV and one day their HIV is gone, it is the same thing. He gives you an A to show you he is the one in charge.
God is in charge, anything he doesn’t want cannot happen. You can do what you like, work as hard as you like, but it is what God says that will happen. Some people read and read and they don’t excel in exams but you see others who just skim a few pages and spend more time with their Lord? They reap more than they sow.
What about justice? Fairness? Diligence? Excellence?
Don’t question a God that uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.
Okay. Now earlier on, you said the grades-changing God is found in schools. What happens when these people graduate?
The grace continues but now, another aspect of God takes over. The qualifications-ignoring God.
Yes. And the helpers-providing God.
Yes. You can get a job you are not qualified for. Somebody like you, say with a degree in linguistics, can be walking on the road now and someone will approach you and say “the Lord said I should give you a position in my oil company” and that’s it. All of a sudden you will be the manager of an oil company. A provision by grace.
Your narrative is not making sense.
What are you saying? Are you qualified for the blood of Jesus? Sister, answer.
That is it! Unbelievers will work hard for something and God will just give you on a platter. One woman attended one-week transformation prayer in my church. After, she went for a conference where she met a governor. The governor gave her a contract to make nose masks. Millions of nose masks. The woman sef no sabi sew anything. (Laughs). If you see the nose masks she made, if you see it . . . (Laughs). Nose masks made with aso oke material. Jagajaga something but who cares? God favours who he wants to favour. That’s how she became a millionaire.
My dear. I had to tap into her testimony o. What is impossible for God? That is why we are always preaching unmerited favour. That’s why the scripture says “not by my power”. Did you hear that testimony about a man in a French airport appearing in Germany?
No. Tell me.
(Shakes head). You are missing o. Which church do you attend sef? Anyway, this man was in a French airport. Then God told him “son, I’m taking you to Germany” and he said “how Lord? I’m in France and going somewhere else. I don’t have a Germany visa or anything” and God said “go to the restroom, my son” and he went and when he walked out, he walked out of a restroom in an airport in Germany.
Incredible. So, God disregarded process.
You’re smart, I give you that. He sha spent some time in Germany and returned to France.
(Chuckles). Through the restroom?
Yes na. When he was ready to leave, he was worried and God told him, “return the same way you came.”
Honestly, I don’t see why God would do that. He wasn’t in danger or anything, he didn’t have a “special” mission in Germany. I’m not even sure, from the story, that this man wanted to go to Germany in the first place.
So, you’re saying he’s lying?
I’m saying I don’t see God clout-chasing. Anyway, what about the helpers-providing God?
This aspect of God is my favourite. A child of God will just be on his own and God will send somebody to change his story and transform his life. Just like that.
Well, if this is basically like Olamide discovering Fireboy, I don’t think I have a problem with it. If you’re consistent with your hustle and always give your best, one day, you’re bounded to be found and elevated but I don’t think this is what you’re talking about.
Your narrative is people sitting and waiting for God to do something they can do for themselves. You’re talking about our Pentecostalism’s fanaticism with help from nowhere. No regard for hard work or excellence or networking or putting your brand out there, just sowing seeds and waiting for favour from a kind, rich man. Shouting “I receive” to visa and owing-land prayers. You’re talking about Christians who don’t like to do the work. You’re selling false hope to desperate, impoverished people.
Are you saying that destiny-helpers don’t exist? Are you saying that help cannot come from nowhere? Or that one divine orchestration cannot transform your life?
Divine orchestration… I still have issues with many of those so-called orchestrations but that aside, I don’t refute that we all need help at some point in our lives or that it can come from nowhere and anywhere. What I won’t accept is telling young people that a destiny-helper is their ticket to the good life. You can’t tell them to leave their success in the hands of fictional characters. You can’t tell them that what was attainable for Jide is attainable for all of them. Jide is not the standard.
You are too stubborn, that’s why you will always have faith hassles. Sha, I trust God to help you. I’ll be praying for your soul.