“You judge the mistakes of others with indignation and distain in a demeaning manner; your mistakes, are littered with rationalizations and excuses, with indignation for those aware. And void of regrets.”
– RJ Intindola
I find it absurd that many Christians think they’re “better” than non-Christians. But, on second thought, this should not be absurd. Many of the injustices of this world were perpetrated on grounds of superiority of some kind. Say, racial or moral or gender superiority. So, Christians are not any different but I guess I’m angry because I think they should know better. And honestly, I expect too much from the human race.
Now, the question is not whether being a Christian is better than not being one. The question is about how being something that someone else is not gives you the right to diminish them. The question is about how a group of persons can be disconnected from the reality of other people’s lives. I’m basically talking about the normalcy of “righteous indignation” in the Christian circle.
Many Christians cannot see why another person would commit sin. It’s like they can’t relate. I know people who cannot see how a young girl may become a prostitute because it was her most practical option at the time. They just cannot look beyond the sin to acknowledge the many human complexities that may make a person become the thing they once criticized. These kinds of Christians (which is a majority) simply exist in their small, protected, privileged bubble feeling indignation, starting their conversations with “how can?” How can? How can he be smoking? How can someone be addicted to sex? How can someone go to beer parlour every day? How can he be on his third marriage?
How can you not see it? The difficulty of the choice? The circumstance? The pain? The pressure? The neglect? The conditioning? How can you not see that you may have done same or worse in same circumstances?
In many churches, this “unbelievers” are used for scapegoat examples. (No. Good Christians – rational, well-meaning people – don’t make those kinds of mistakes or do things as reproachful.) They are ridiculed on the altar. Called names. Laughed at. Mocked. It is “us vs them”. In the pastor’s voice: small, small girls having sex. Small, small girls drinking alcohol.
I’m not asking for your approval. I’m asking for your understanding. I’m asking that you see why, unlike you, someone else may struggle with something like drugs. I’m asking you to see why, unlike the children you raised so successfully, someone else may be unable to overcome the urge to withdraw from a community. I’m asking you to see the full humanity of this person, to see them as people who do irrational things like all of us are wont to do, to see them as deserving of dignity whether you like the length of their skirt or not.
Someone I know attempted suicide and the response from the church was disgusting. Find some of them below:
Why will he try to kill himself?
Who does he think is? Are you God that you can take your life when you want?
Why are children of nowadays so ungrateful?
Thank God for how my parents raised me. They raised me to be strong.
I hope he knows it’s hellfire he is going.
As for me o, I don’t know anything that can make me kill myself.
When it’s not as if all hope is lost.
This is righteous indignation in full, fledged force. Taking offence that someone else is not doing life like you. Thinking you have the right to diminish them with your disapproval. To the gallows, you all!
I also don’t understand why Christians can’t come to terms with the fact that many non-Christians are actually happy. Yes, they’re not worshipping your God but trust me, some of them are happy. Some of them. Same way some Christians are happy and some are not. Nothing too fanciful there.
In my alma mater, you’ll see a signpost that says “I’m happy and free because I’m not a cultist and drug addict”. Every time I encountered it, I would laugh. God knows I’m not a cultist. I’ve never done drugs too, but…am I happy? Am I happy and free? Of course, I see how those things can bring unhappiness but I know many unhappy people who don’t do those things either.
Somewhere in YabaTech, you’ll see a signpost that says something like “I’m at peace because I’m not having sex.” What kind of joke is this? Are you serious? Really? This is the best you could do? I find this incredibly desperate and deceitful. It’s like saying the religion is so shitty that no one will join till we spread agendas like these ones.
One time I posted a happy picture of the Obamas and someone said “Don’t trust everything you see. No one is happy without God.” Well, of course, what we see is not everything that goes on in a home. Of course, we don’t know anything about the Obamas marriage apart from what they choose to share but to believe unflinchingly that they’re unhappy because they are not born again? Wawuu.
Christians believe there are depths of joy unbelievers will never know. Well, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. And, all joy na still joy. People have found some kind of meaning outside God and that’s valid too. I’m not saying they’re right and you’re wrong. I’m saying I’d hate for you to so hastily and callously dismiss my joy and everything I find meaningful because it’s not your own reality.