And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. — 2 Corinthians 12:9a
So, my friends know me as someone with a stable mental health. To them, I’m like a parent. I play the part. I counsel them. I reassure them. I take care of them. Making people feel loved and affirmed makes me happy. And because of this, I deal with my problems all by myself. Or, I tell God and “leave it in his hands” which means I refuse to think about them thereafter.
Ever since I got serious with God, I tell him most of my problems, which aren’t a lot if you ask me. I consider myself blessed to not have so many issues in life. What I have are basic teenager problems. So, I tell God, leave it with him and go about my life. I mean, He’s in charge of everything and has an answer to everything so why should I bother.
Then, I had an issue. Oh boy! I didn’t know what to do because it involved God. Here’s what happened.
I was in a fellowship where I felt like I was going to end up with a leadership position. An office, basically. I didn’t want an office. I wanted to do something for God but not through an office. So, I felt like I was denying God. I had no one to talk to and telling my fellowship friends was not an option. They would only tell me I was in the wrong.
I began to think and I hate thinking about things for a long time. Despite all my thoughts, no answer was forthcoming. I finally gathered the courage to talk to someone.
Sosa appeared. Well, she didn’t appear like Gabriel when he spoke to Mary. I felt she could listen to me. Mind you, she’s one with a truckload of issues of her own. I opened up to her because I desperately had to get it off my chest. She listened to me. She gave me an answer. And now, I thank God for her.
Before Sosa, I was blind to the fact that I couldn’t give myself the things I needed. Assurance. Care. Companionship. I was sad and tired, so tired that my tiredness became an emotion. I kept asking myself, “where did my strength go to?”
I have seen many quotes stating that no one checks on the “strong” person and I dismissed them. I was strong. Why should anyone check on me? I should do the checking. But things changed and I became helpless. God saw me and he helped me. He helped me through a “weak” person. Now I’m back on my feet and ready to be “strong” again.
Many times, just like me, we feel too strong. Independent. Needing nothing and nobody, forgetting we are human.
When God created us, He gave us fellowship. He gave us each other to navigate this labyrinth called life. Don’t be afraid of sharing your problems. We all need people and most times, our answers are hidden in other Christians. God gave us the gift of people and we need to use the gifts we have.
It’s okay if you’re scared or reluctant. It’s okay if you’re still learning vulnerability. Talking to Sosa was also a first for me. And even though I did that, I still feel a certain reluctance to share my problems but I’m unlearning this habit. It’s an amazing thing to watch God work through someone else and I will no longer deprive myself that gift.
PS: Check on your strong friends and appreciate them for being there.